Tom posted his preparation procedures for Daily Tech News Show to Snapchat as he prepared for The show on Tuesday Jan. 19th.

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Yes we know it’s portrait. That’s because snapchat.

Here’s the resulting show!

Real tech stories. Really Shaky analysis.

January may be winding down, but it’s showing much of the country that it’s still got some fight in it. Many find themselves snowbound in their homes, unable to venture out for their usual forms of entertainment like plays, concerts, or new movies. Some may even find themselves resorting to reading a blog they never would have considered previously, due to sheer, utter boredom.

Welcome new readers!

For the week of January 18 – 22, 2016

A Word From Our Sponsor
Messaging app What’s App is dropping their ninety-nine cent yearly subscription fee and turning to “business to consumer communication” for revenue. I’ll understand if you pause reading to calculate your new early retirement date based on this eight cents per month windfall.

While many assume that “business to consumer communication” means “ads,” the company insists this isn’t the case. Said one marketing manager, “No, absolutely not. No ads. We, uh, do not want to degrade the user experience for our… our… 990 million customers… jeez, that’s almost a b-b-billion people… (starts sweating) do you know how much we could get for just a couple of tiny ads?… would anyone really be all that upset?… no, no; we said no ads, and we meant it… there are plenty of revenue stream options available… sure, ads would be the most efficient and lucrative method, but… (sweating increases, begins pacing) but since somebody apparently has some bug up their ass about not using ads like the rest of the civilized capitalist world–it sure wasn’t me, I’ll tell you that!–I guess we’ll run some bake sales and car washes like a high school glee club trying to pay for a trip to the regional finals in–aaaahhh I QUIT!”

Fine, Take Away My Access To Other Cultures
IBM has purchased the live streaming service UStream. A new cloud streaming unit will reportedly be created combining UStream and three other services. IBM’s involvement has naturally prompted industry analysts to ask, “How does this affect my ability to watch Japanese-dubbed versions of Ride Along 2 recorded off of some kid’s iPhone?”

Mom And Dad Really Did Know Best
Microsoft will recall power cords from the Surface Pro, Pro 2, and Pro 3 due to overheating concerns, heeding the advice our parents drummed into our heads throughout childhood: “If at first you don’t succeed, ignore the problem for two more iterations, but if people keep whining, I guess you’ll have to recall the damned things.”

He Says He Can Do The Dance Scene, Too
Apple hired Doug Bowman, the former Director of the Center for Human-Computer Interaction at Virginia Tech, who focuses on “three-dimensional user interface design.” In submitting his resume to Apple, one assumes he simply handed them the Ex Machina script.

They Probably Aren’t Interested In Our Thoughts On “Cheers,” Either
Facebook will be providing statistics to the Nielsen company showing how often users mention specific TV shows, the data to be incorporated into Nielsen’s new social TV ratings. My wife and I have been politely informed that our posts will be excluded, because “‘Can you believe what Walter White did? Breaking Bad is crazy!‘ two-and-a-half years after the show ended isn’t doing anybody any good.”

No Matter Who You Root For, We Can All Agree On This
Facebook is also introducing Facebook Sports Stadium, where you can follow major sporting events in real time, including stats, videos, and play-by-play. There will also be, of course, social interaction, with a tab containing experts’ posts and another with those of your friends. A fun third tab in the works will allow you, whether it’s a full count in the bottom of the ninth of the seventh game of the World Series or 15-love in the first game of the first match at Wimbledon, to post, in all your favorite colors and fonts, Boy, the Cleveland Browns sure suck, don’t they?

Cheap Shot Approaching
General Motors started a car-sharing service called Maven. A trial is being run in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where cars can be accessed for as low as $6/hour. Business immediately boomed, because Ann Arbor residents who previously lacked readily-available transportation options now have a convenient way to GET THE HELL OUT OF ANN ARBOR! (Ohio law requires that any mentions of the home of the Michigan Wolverines include at least one insult).

Wow, That Is A Lot
Google reported that they blocked 780 million ads last year that carried malware, were deceptive, or otherwise made for a poor user experience. If you’re having trouble wrapping your mind around that 780 million number, think of it this way: that is nearly TWICE the number of Draft Kings or Fan Duel ads you hear in an hour of sports talk radio.

Or, The Phone Could Just Shut Down, If You Aren’t Into Cool Stuff
Elliptic Labs has created software called Beauty that uses sound waves, rather than current infrared sensors, to determine how far your phone is from your head, causing the display to dim when you are talking on the phone and not looking at it. This software solution is less expensive than infrared, and frees up space inside the phone, which finally allows for the long-awaited addition of a packet of quick-hardening gel that streams into the user’s ear when the software determines that the phone is at the side of their head while driving. This will temporarily deafen them, making talking on the phone while driving pointless. The remainder of the gel spreads over the phone’s screen, because it knows damned well that an ear canal plugged with gel is not going to get the message across to most people, who are just going to try to tweet a photo of their goo-filled ear.

And there we have another Weekly Tech Views. For you snowbound new readers–that was better than being out in the cold, shoveling, right?… Well, how about being out there without gloves or a hat?… Naked?… Come on, you’ve got to give me naked–things could freeze to things.

Anyhow, thanks for reading. See you next week.

Mike Range
@MovieLeagueMike

Weekly Tech Views by Mike Range is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

Everyone’s excited and/or scared about artificial intelligence but should we be excited and/or scared about Intelligence Amplification instead? Tom Merritt and Darren Kitchen discuss while Len Peralta illustrates.

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A special thanks to all our supporters–without you, none of this would be possible.

If you are willing to support the show or give as little as 5 cents a day on Patreon. Thank you!

Big thanks to Dan Lueders for the headlines music and Martin Bell for the opening theme!

Big thanks to Mustafa A. from thepolarcat.com for the logo!

Thanks to our mods, Kylde, TomGehrke, sebgonz and scottierowland on the subreddit

Show Notes
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Do we want messaging to replace apps? Wired asks, and Justin Young and Tom Merritt try to answer.

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A special thanks to all our supporters–without you, none of this would be possible.

If you are willing to support the show or give as little as 5 cents a day on Patreon. Thank you!

Big thanks to Dan Lueders for the headlines music and Martin Bell for the opening theme!

Big thanks to Mustafa A. from thepolarcat.com for the logo!

Thanks to our mods, Kylde, TomGehrke, sebgonz and scottierowland on the subreddit

Show Notes
To read the show notes in a separate page click here!

Online education fell off the hype radar but it’s getting stronger than ever. Luria Petrucci shares what she learned setting up Geeks University with Tom Merritt and Scott Johnson.

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Follow us on Soundcloud.

A special thanks to all our supporters–without you, none of this would be possible.

If you are willing to support the show or give as little as 5 cents a day on Patreon. Thank you!

Big thanks to Dan Lueders for the headlines music and Martin Bell for the opening theme!

Big thanks to Mustafa A. from thepolarcat.com for the logo!

Thanks to our mods, Kylde, TomGehrke, sebgonz and scottierowland on the subreddit

Show Notes
To read the show notes in a separate page click here!

We look at the top 10 most anticipated games coming in 2016 as Patrick Beja tries to explain them to Tom Merritt Good luck Patrick!

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Follow us on Soundcloud.

A special thanks to all our supporters–without you, none of this would be possible.

If you are willing to support the show or give as little as 5 cents a day on Patreon. Thank you!

Big thanks to Dan Lueders for the headlines music and Martin Bell for the opening theme!

Big thanks to Mustafa A. from thepolarcat.com for the logo!

Thanks to our mods, Kylde, TomGehrke, sebgonz and scottierowland on the subreddit

Show Notes
To read the show notes in a separate page click here!

It’s the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday in the US, so it’s just Tom with a few headlines and a couple of emails today.

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Follow us on Soundcloud.

A special thanks to all our supporters–without you, none of this would be possible.

If you are willing to support the show or give as little as 5 cents a day on Patreon. Thank you!

Big thanks to Dan Lueders for the headlines music and Martin Bell for the opening theme!

Big thanks to Mustafa A. from thepolarcat.com for the logo!

Thanks to our mods, Kylde, TomGehrke, sebgonz and scottierowland on the subreddit

Show Notes
To read the show notes in a separate page click here!

Real tech stories. Really shaky analysis.

We have reached the point in January when we stop saying “Happy New Year” and start saying “How long till spring?” The nice thing about the Weekly Tech Views is that if you find yourself slogging through one that’s the literary equivalent of a dreary, miserable winter day, you know it won’t last two more months (hey, I think I found a new slogan!)

Wa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pow!
Amazon is rumored to be releasing a smaller, portable version of their Echo “personal assistant.” The new device is code-named Fox. It is supposed to be less expensive than the current version, unless you count the emotional cost of a renewed onslaught of “What Does the Fox Say?” gags.

What Is This “Phone” You Speak Of?
HTC will start taking pre-orders for their Vive VR Headset on February 29th. When a reporter asked if they were afraid that the new focus on VR might cost the company smartphone sales, everyone had a good laugh, there were scattered murmurs of “yeah, smartphone sales,” and then they continued live tweeting the announcement on their iPhones.

They Need To Learn To Text Into The Skid
Ford will start testing self-driving cars in winter weather, following in Google’s footsteps. This, of course, makes complete sense. Driving conditions and hazards vary greatly from June in San Francisco to January in Minneapolis. It’s necessary to test in all conditions before proclaiming them safe for everyday use.

Which raises the question, why aren’t humans held to the same standard? If a sixteen-year-old has a birthday in August, he or she may never drive in rain, let alone snow, before being handed a laminated permission slip to pilot 2,000 pounds of metal next to me on the freeway. I say all testing takes place December through February (with special dispensation here in northeast Ohio, where, in non-El Nino years, facilities can be used Columbus Day through Father’s Day). Less than two inches of snow on the ground? Closed for a “No Snow Day.”

During non-testing months, offices will be converted to rehab centers treating the estimated 95% of testing agents affected by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Live in southern California and never have to drive in snow? Lucky you. But your license gets imbedded with a chip that cars recognize, and when you visit New England at the holidays and try to start your rental car, it just laughs at you.

Call Me When It’s Knight Rider-Ready
Tesla’s latest update includes the Summon feature, which enables the car to park or unpark itself, as long as the driver is within 33 feet. Cool tech. But look, it’s not bringing your car from the parking garage down the street to the front door of your office building. Really, how many situations are there going to be when you’re within 33 feet of your car but unwilling to take five more seconds to walk the rest of the way? Sure, there are the times when you’re in a desperate fight for survival with a psychotic international spy who has spent years tracking you down and used some exotic variant of jujitsu to disarm you and knock you to the ground has a gun aimed at your head and is about to finish you off to avenge that nasty business in Helsinki in ’03. And you activate Summon and your car hits him from behind, allowing you to turn the tables and strike another heroic blow for democracy. But that’s, what, three or four times a year?

Would You Like To See Hotels In The Area While You Find A Lawyer?
Google Maps for Android has added Driving Mode, a feature that will guess where you’re headed and plot a course.

“Why does it think we’re going to Marcie’s house? I haven’t been there in over a year, since she got drunk and hit on you at the Christmas party.”

“Uh, yeah. Weird.”

“Wait… this is your phone.”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”

Our Algorithm Says We Spent A Boatload Of Cash And You Are Going To Watch It
Netflix is stepping up its efforts to stop users who access out-of-region content by pretending to be in a country they aren’t. While this means no more Turkey’s House of Kurds and Germany’s Der Devil for those of us in the U.S., VPN users have united in vowing to voluntarily stop circumventing the region-blocking efforts, saving Netflix the time and expense of implementing new controls, if the company would just please stop with the Adam Sandler’s Ridiculous Six promos taking up 85% of our screens.

No, You Can’t Call The Costumes Soft-Wear
There’s a new musical comedy opening on Broadway in April. Not news, you say. There’s a new musical comedy opening in New York every half hour, you say. Also, you say (I sense you’re starting to get irritated now), that’s not tech news.

AH-HA! This musical is called Nerds, and it’s about the rivalry between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. It’s got holograms! And the audience can use an app to interact with the set! What’s most surprising about this venture is that they’d try another tech-related musical so soon after the disaster we all remember from last season, the ill-fated recounting of Steve Wozniak’s career, Woz Side Story.

[Warning: If you did not grow up with a mother who believed Edison invented the phonograph with the sole intention of the West Side Story soundtrack be played eight to ten hours per day, you are approaching dangerous, gibberish-filled territory. Skipping the remainder of this story is highly recommended.]

Try as we might, who can forget songs like…

Woz’s ode to the Apple I’s MOS Technology 6502 CPU–I’m 8-Bitty:
(“I’m 8-bitty / So 8-bitty / I’m 8-bitty, this ditty, don’t lie…”)*

The Graphical User Interface anthem–UI:
(“UI… UI… / Who needs the command line? / UI makes using DOS really dumb…”)*

And, in what was supposed to be the big showstopping number, Steve’s prophetic look at the World Wide Web–The Net Song:
(Once on the Net / You’ll be on it all day / Poking friends that you’ve met / Buying stuff on E-bay…”)*

Still, let’s not write off Nerds. Holograms right many wrongs.**

* On the off-chance you’re still reading, these are to the tunes of “I’m So Pretty,” “Tonight,” and “The Jet Song.”

** I told you to stop. Why didn’t you listen?

That’s all for today. I think I’m going to go lie down for a bit; for a minute there I thought I made a musical theater reference in this tech blog. Can you imagine the Venn diagram of people interested in both? Ha!

Until next week.

Mike Range
@MovieLeagueMike

Weekly Tech Views by Mike Range is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

Foursquare has a new CEO and a lower valuation. So what makes us keep using social service and once we stop can they ever convince us to come back? Peter Wells and Tom Merritt discuss. Plus Amazon aims to do to shipping what it did to the cloud.

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Multiple versions (ogg, video etc.) from Archive.org.

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Follow us on Soundcloud.

A special thanks to all our supporters–without you, none of this would be possible.

If you are willing to support the show or give as little as 5 cents a day on Patreon. Thank you!

Big thanks to Dan Lueders for the headlines music and Martin Bell for the opening theme!

Big thanks to Mustafa A. from thepolarcat.com for the logo!

Thanks to our mods, Kylde, TomGehrke, sebgonz and scottierowland on the subreddit

Show Notes
To read the show notes in a separate page click here!

The W3C is considering restrictions on who can set standards regarding DRM in HTML. Will this free your Web or chain it up? Allison Sheridan and Tom Merritt discuss. Also, one, two, three and to the four, Snoop wants to throw his XBox One onto the floor.
*Note: The original version of this file cut off the last two minutes. Apologies.

MP3

Using a Screen Reader? Click here

Multiple versions (ogg, video etc.) from Archive.org.

Please SUBSCRIBE HERE.

Follow us on Soundcloud.

A special thanks to all our supporters–without you, none of this would be possible.

If you are willing to support the show or give as little as 5 cents a day on Patreon. Thank you!

Big thanks to Dan Lueders for the headlines music and Martin Bell for the opening theme!

Big thanks to Mustafa A. from thepolarcat.com for the logo!

Thanks to our mods, Kylde, TomGehrke, sebgonz and scottierowland on the subreddit

Show Notes
To read the show notes in a separate page click here!